How We Met...
he says
In 2010, I hired Anna to work with me on a month long project. I offered her the job via email, and she came by my office to accept the position. Though I had never met Anna before, I was immediately attracted to her bubbly kindness and funky fashion sense. She looked happy and exuberant; she thanked me for the job, hugged me, and pranced out of my office. At that time, I just thought she’d be a fun person to work with.
she says
We spent a month putting in long hours pouring over applications and enrolling that year's crop of new NOLS instructors. Throughout that process, I felt honored to be working with such a good man. I was struck by Evan's compassion, humor, comfort in his own skin, insights, and balanced approach.
he says
After collaborating together for work, I’ll admit I was starting to hope that Anna would want to continue spending time with me after the project ended.
she says
Towards the end of the month, as the project was wrapping up, my housemate, Heather, and I decided to decompress over drinks after work. I invited Evan to join us. I sipped on a White Russian and listened as Heather grilled Evan about his personal life, asking every question I'd never thought to ask while we were working together. What impressed me most was how Evan spoke of his partner in a recent break-up with such love and respect, never undermining her dignity or the value of what they had shared while still being clear that he felt it was the right decision to end the relationship. His trustworthiness, integrity and humanity made me start to look at him in a different light. That night when we got home, I told Heather I thought I'd developed a crush on Evan.
he says
About a week later, Anna called me at my office and asked me out to a movie. I was thrilled! I hung up the phone and exclaimed to my coworkers: “I think I just got asked out on a date!” I hadn’t been asked out on an official date since middle school. I felt warm and excited inside, and I was enjoying the feeling of nervous anxiety that accompanies the unknown. Then Anna called back about 10 minutes later, telling me all the other people she had just invited on our “date.”
she says
I had never asked anyone out in my life-- never even made the first move! When I hung up the phone after making that initial call, I was petrified. So I called back and backpedaled.
he says
I was crushed. It wasn’t a date after all, I had just made it into Anna’s circle of friends. Dejected, I told my coworkers that I had not, in fact, been asked out on a date. Sigh…
she says
In reality, I only asked other folks along who I suspected wouldn't be able to make it.
he says
When I showed up at Anna’s house to pick her up for the movie, she informed me that it was just going to be the two of us, that everyone else had bailed last minute. Now I was confused… Was this a date? Or was Anna just being friendly?
she says
I knew I liked Evan, but I didn't think he was interested in anything beyond a friendship with me. That seemed better than nothing, so I figured I would play it safe and just enjoy his company. On the drive to Riverton, we talked easily about all sorts of things-- religion, Indian visas, our families, formative moments in our lives. I still remember that conversation as one of the best of my life.
he says
So we went to the movie.
she says
It was Avatar and I spent the entire movie nervous that he didn't like it. I would look over and I couldn't read him at all. It wasn't until much later in our relationship that I found out Evan had cried during the movie. That slayed me-- and totally melted my heart!
he says
Afterwards, we decided to go to dinner. This was really starting to feel like a date. We talked, we connected, and we really had fun. As I dropped Anna off at her house at the end of the evening, I was tempted to give her a goodnight kiss, but I was reminded that this wasn’t really a date, so I decided not to risk making a friendship awkward. I pulled up to her curb, and said: “Goodnight!”
she says
I went inside feeling warm and buzzed from Evan's company, but also fully aware that I had been dropped off without so much as a pat on the shoulder. When I got in the door, Heather asked me how the date had gone. I told her that we'd had a great time together, but that Evan definitely didn't have any feelings for me beyond friendship.
he says
A couple weeks later, I was still interested in pursuing something with Anna, and I was pretty sure she’d be attending a birthday party for my boss. While my typical weekend in the winter usually involved a road trip to Cody for ice climbing or driving to backcountry ski in the Tetons, I wanted to see Anna again, so I decided to drive to Cody at 4 am on Saturday. That way, I could attend a party Friday night and still pursue a full weekend of adventure recreation therapy. Sure enough, Anna was at the party.
she says
The place was packed with people, but I was keenly aware of Evan's presence as I mingled and kept looking for an opportunity to reconnect with him.
he says
We started chatting and soon migrated towards a couch to continue our conversation. Again, I felt like we were connecting. She laughed at my jokes, she asked wonderful questions, sparks were definitely flying. After about an hour, I decided to risk some personal contact, attempting to express my deeper feelings. I put my hand on Anna’s knee and told her how excited I was to have made a connection with her, and how much I was enjoying getting to know her.
she says
But I totally read it as a pity pat-- as in, "You're clearly into me, and I think you're great and all, but I just want to be friends." I was mortified!
he says
Anna’s body language changed. She suggested that it was late and I probably needed to get to bed, as I’d be leaving for Cody in just a few hours. I took this as my cue to hopefully walk her home. I only lived about a block away, and she lived several, so I was convinced I could steal a kiss if I took a few too many steps past the house where I was living. I dashed into the restroom and quickly returned, hoping to walk Anna home.
she says
Meanwhile, I ducked out the door.
he says
To my dismay, Anna was already gone when I got back. Her housemate, Heather, started teasing me about flirting with Anna. I decided to pull a card out of the middle school dating playbook and admit to Heather that I had a huge crush on Anna-- that the only reason I came to the party was to try and flirt with her. I secretly hoped that Heather would tell all of this to Anna, and then the ball would be in Anna’s court.
she says
Well played. I got Heather's text as I reached our house. For the first time since I had developed romantic feelings for Evan, I knew that he was interested in me as well! My heart was racing.
he says
I spent two long days ice climbing, and tried to make it back to Lander for another friend's gathering on Sunday night. Anna had told me on Friday that she’d be there. I made it, and the whole drive back I was hoping that Anna would finally know I was excited to pursue her romantically. I pictured immediate flirtatious glances and nervous smiles. Instead, I was exhausted when I showed up to the gathering. I sat and chatted with friends, but mostly recounted climbing stories with the boys. Too tired to stay awake, and not feeling any energy from Anna, I decided my tactics had failed and I went home to bed.
she says
When Evan walked in the door, I had jumped up to say hello and give him a hug, but he barely seemed to register I was there. Evan's apparent change of heart left me crushed. I cried on the walk home. I cried in the bathtub. I cried on the phone.
he says
A few days later, I decided to try one last effort at wooing Anna. I called her and invited her to my house for dinner. Finally, an official date, and in an intimate (and hopefully obviously romantic) setting. Our missed communications and signals finally connected, and we’ve been together ever since.
How We Got Engaged...
he says
Anna first asked me to marry her almost a year before I popped the question. I was working in India, assisting a community in crisis. It was a last minute trip that I thought might last three days, instead I was there for over two months. Anna and I could connect via email and Skype, so even though I was on the other side of the world, we could still interact more than we would working a typical NOLS expedition.
We were in the process of putting an addition on our house at the time. At one point, Anna sent me a half dozen messages at around 2 am her time, about the middle of the day over in India. I had a lunch break and I was checking my computer, so I started responding to the flurry of emails. They were simple one liners: “What do you think of this color paint for the bathroom?” “How does this toilet look?” “Do you like this sink fixture?” etc. My answers basically amounted to: “Looks great! I don’t really care, but I’m trying to be supportive.” I knew Anna was checking things off a mental “to do” list and I was happy to be a sounding board if it helped ease her mind.
Then I opened the final email, also from around 2 am. Embedded in some delirious comments about a movie she'd just watched, Anna asked me to marry her.
she says
I couldn't sleep. I hadn't really been able to sleep soundly since Evan left for India. That gave me a lot of time to think. The idea of spending my life together with Evan seemed so natural that it felt like I was just stating the obvious when I told him I wanted to get married.
he says
On the receiving end of Anna's proposal, I was shocked and excited. I wanted to find an eloquent way to say: “Yes, of course I’ll marry you, but I need a little more romance-- you can’t sweep me off my feet with a 2 am afterthought of an email! Getting engaged is not a thing you can cross off your “to do” list!” But before I could respond to Anna's email, a member of the community I was assisting had a breakdown. I was called back to work and had to walk away from my computer.
I was working hard, but I was also walking on air. Anna wants to get married! I just received a lifelong proposal! I figured she was now asleep and I had hours to come up with a clever way to say: “Yes, but only if you ask me in person... and I like surprises!”
she says
On my end, I was still wide awake and experiencing radio silence. So I wrote Evan again saying that he wasn't allowed to go M.I.A. after receiving a proposal of marriage. When he finally got back to me saying of course he'd marry me, but he needed a more convincing proposal in order to take me seriously, I put myself in charge of all practice proposals and him in charge of the real deal. Then, over the next months I had a blast dreaming up ways to ask Evan to marry me-- over the supermarket loudspeaker, in his ear as he slept, via refrigerator magnets, on the Dairyland marquee, etc.
he says
Our actual engagement happened during a weekend of alpine climbing in the Wind River Mountains in mid-August, 2012. Knowing Anna would need to select her own ring, but still wanting a ‘placeholder,’ I went ring shopping with one of our mutual friends. Together we found a big blingy daisy ring that we thought Anna might like.
she says
I was working a course in the mountains at the time and Evan had written me a short note to open each day of the course. As I got down to the last message, I was secretly hoping he'd propose-- I was feeling like the timing was right. But when I broached the subject with Evan when I got out of the field, he got all silent and awkward. Worried that he'd had a change of heart about getting married down the road, I backpedaled hard. As I expounded on the idea that a healthy relationship didn't need to be validated by labels or institutions, Evan suggested we head into the mountains the next day for a long weekend. Evan had made a special effort to find some climbs that we could do together which would be within my abilities. It sounded like the perfect way to get on the same page and catch up after a long summer apart-- I had no idea that Evan had something more in mind.
he says
I was obsessed with the proposal being a SURPRISE! I needed to get Anna out of town as quickly as possible because I'd already told half of Lander about my plans (I'm terrible at keeping secrets!). I was trying to avoid the subject of marriage, which was why I had been awkward when Anna came out of the field saying she felt the timing was right to get engaged. I also had to be sly and pack a ring, a mini bottle of champagne, and some plastic champagne flutes into my backpack for the weekend adventure without Anna noticing.
she says
I didn't notice a thing beyond the fact that Evan was being unusually quiet during the hike in. That night as rain pelted down on us and the wind howled, his mood got progressively darker. We woke up to thunderheads ringing the horizon and Evan continued to brood as it looked more and more likely that his plans to climb Steeple Peak together would get derailed by the weather. Partly to humor him, I agreed that we should at least hike to the start of the climb.
he says
When we got to the base of our route, it was still crazy windy outside. But then I realized I didn’t really care about the climbing. I did care about spending my life with Anna. So under the ruse of looking at the route and checking to see how windy it was on the ridge, I set up the champagne, the glasses and the ring in the saddle at the base of the climb.
I asked Anna to come “check things out and decide for herself,” then did the typical down on one knee proposal. She started crying and hugged me without answering so I asked her if that meant, "Yes." She laughed and said, "Of course I'll marry you!" A wave of relief washed over me.
she says
I was utterly surprised and overwhelmed with joy when Evan proposed-- so awash in emotion I couldn't speak. Once I was able to confirm for Evan that we were engaged, we decided to do the route despite the weather and postponed our champagne celebration for the summit. The day started to clear up as we climbed and it got positively beautiful by the time we were descending to camp. The next day dawned so lovely and still that we couldn't resist going up the North Face of Haystack before heading home. It was a wonderful weekend-- full of fun climbing, wildflowers, granite, and alpine lakes. So much beauty and so many things that make both our hearts sing.